Why We Eat Our Feelings: The Psychology of Emotional Eating

Trainer Misfit
2 days ago
5 min read

Updated: 1 day ago

Emotional eating means using food to manage emotional states, rather than to satisfy physical hunger.

Have you ever reached for a snack not because you were hungry, but because you felt stressed, bored, or overwhelmed? If so, you're not alone. Many of us turn to food as a way to soothe or manage our emotions, often without realizing it. This is known as emotional eating.

Although it’s a common and very human experience, emotional eating can quietly become a default coping mechanism, especially in times of high stress or emotional dysregulation. In today’s article, we’ll explore why this happens, how emotional eating works, and what healthier strategies we can use to support ourselves.

What Is Emotional Eating?

Emotional eating means using food to manage emotional states, rather than to satisfy physical hunger. It often involves a craving for comfort foods, usually sweet, salty, or high in fat and occurs in response to emotional cues such as:

Stress and anxiety
Sadness or loneliness
Frustration or anger
Exhaustion or boredom
Even happiness or celebration

It’s important to note: eating emotionally isn’t “bad” or a sign of weakness. It's a learned behavior rooted in both brain chemistry and early experiences.

Why Do We Use Food to Regulate Emotions?

Food can temporarily shift our mood and make us feel better. Here's why:

1. Brain Reward System Activation

Comfort foods, especially those rich in sugar or fat, activate the brain’s dopaminergic reward pathways, triggering a sense of pleasure and relief. This reward makes the behavior more likely to be repeated.

2. Stress and Cortisol

When we’re stressed, our bodies release cortisol, a hormone that increases appetite and cravings. Chronic stress can lead to habitual emotional eating as a way to reduce physiological tension.

3. Soothing Through Association

Many people develop emotional eating patterns in childhood, such as being given sweets to cheer up or snacks to stay quiet. Over time, the brain associates food with comfort and emotional regulation.

4. Lack of Emotional Awareness or Skills

Sometimes we eat because we can’t name or sit with our emotions. Food becomes a numbing strategy or a distraction from discomfort, rather than a mindful response to a feeling.

The Emotional Eating Loop

Emotional eating often becomes a self-reinforcing cycle:

Trigger - You experience an emotional discomfort (e.g., stress).
Eating - You eat to soothe or distract.
Relief - You feel temporary comfort or calm.
Aftermath - You may feel guilt or shame, but the original emotion remains unaddressed.
Repetition - The cycle repeats during the next emotional trigger.

How to Regulate Emotions Without Turning to Food

Food can’t resolve emotions, it only pauses them. That’s why building emotional awareness and regulation skills is essential. Here are science-backed strategies to support emotional well-being:

🔹 Name What You Feel

Practice labeling emotions. Instead of “I just want to eat,” try:

“I feel anxious right now. I need comfort.”

Naming the emotion gives you the power to respond consciously.

🔹 Build Distress Tolerance

Learn to sit with difficult feelings using techniques like:

Deep breathing
Grounding exercises (5 senses)
Short walks or light movement
Music, drawing, or journaling

🔹 Practice Mindful Eating

Tune into physical hunger cues. Ask yourself:

“Am I physically hungry or emotionally activated?"

This strengthens your ability to differentiate needs.

🔹 Meet Emotional Needs Directly

Ask:

“What do I really need right now?”

It may be:

Connection
Rest
Reassurance
Food cannot replace these, but other actions can.

🔹 Seek Support

Therapy (especially CBT, ACT, or trauma-informed modalities) can help uncover the roots of emotional eating and strengthen alternative regulation strategies.

When Emotional Eating Becomes a Deeper Concern

Emotional eating is different from eating disorders, but in some cases, it may evolve into more serious patterns such as binge eating disorder (BED). If you notice loss of control, shame, or frequent distress around food, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for a full evaluation.

Weight Gain After or During Sexual Abuse: Psychological and Physiological Mechanisms

Many survivors of sexual abuse report changes in body weight, sometimes during the abuse, sometimes later in life. This isn’t just about “eating too much” or “not caring for oneself.” It’s often a complex survival response rooted in psychology, biology, and trauma adaptation.

1. Protective Function of Weight Gain

For some survivors, gaining weight, consciously or unconsciously, serves as a protective mechanism.
The body may be perceived as “less attractive” or “less noticeable” when heavier, which can feel like a way to reduce the risk of further abuse.
Survivors sometimes describe weight gain as “building a shield” between themselves and others.

2. Dysregulated Stress Response (HPA Axis)

Trauma, especially chronic abuse, activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to elevated cortisol.
Cortisol dysregulation is linked to:
- increased abdominal fat storage,
- cravings for calorie-dense “comfort foods,”
- disrupted sleep (which itself promotes weight gain).

3. Emotional Eating and Dissociation

Survivors often struggle with alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions) or emotional dysregulation.
Food may become a way to numb distress, regulate overwhelming emotions, or dissociate from pain.
Binge eating, night eating, or compulsive snacking can be understood as coping strategies in the absence of safe emotional regulation tools.

4. Shame, Self-Punishment, and Body Image

Some survivors unconsciously use weight gain as a way to punish themselves, rooted in internalized guilt or shame.
Others experience deep ambivalence about their bodies: wanting to disappear, yet also trying to reclaim ownership through changes in appearance.

5. Long-Term Health Risks

Research shows survivors of childhood sexual abuse are at increased risk for obesity, metabolic syndrome, and eating disorders (both restrictive and binge-related).
This highlights the need for trauma-informed care, not weight-focused blame.

In summary:

Weight gain during or after sexual abuse is not “just” overeating, it can be a psychological shield, a biological stress response, and a way to cope with unprocessed trauma. Healing requires compassionate, trauma-informed approaches, not simplistic advice about diet or exercise.

Final Reflections

Emotional eating isn’t a personal failure, it’s an attempt to care for yourself, even if the strategy isn’t ideal in the long term. With self-awareness, compassion, and the right tools, you can learn to respond to your emotions in healthier, more connected ways. Instead of fighting the urge to eat emotionally, start asking:

“What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

That question might be the beginning of a new, more healing conversation with yourself.

Sources:

Heatherton, T. F., & Baumeister, R. F. (1991). Binge eating as escape from self-awareness. Psychological Bulletin, 110(1), 86–108.
Macht, M. (2008). How emotions affect eating: A five-way model. Appetite, 50(1), 1–11.
Van Strien, T. (2018). Causes of emotional eating and matched treatment of obesity. Current Diabetes Reports, 17(8), 1–8.
Evers, C., Stok, F. M., & de Ridder, D. T. D. (2010). Feeding your feelings: Emotion regulation strategies and emotional eating. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(6), 792–804.
Bruch, H. (1973). Eating disorders: Obesity, anorexia nervosa, and the person within. Basic Books.
American Psychological Association. (2020). Stress in America™ 2020: A National Mental Health Crisis.

Selected Research:

Felitti et al. (1998): Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study: strong link between childhood sexual abuse and obesity in adulthood.
Gustafson & Sarwer (2004): Childhood sexual abuse associated with higher rates of binge eating and obesity in women.
Aaron & Hughes (2007): Survivors may gain weight as an unconscious protective strategy against further sexualization.
Chartier, Walker, & Naimark (2009): Childhood sexual abuse predicted higher BMI and emotional eating in adulthood.